Under the knife...

Such a scary phrase isn't it? "I'm going under the knife!" I suppose there are quite a few less intimidating ways to describe surgery but for some reason this one comes to my mind first. Maybe because in my young life I have experienced this service far too often? Probably. To me, its just another procedure to attempt to fix something else n my body that malfunctioned. Typical day in my world. Yet there is something about THIS time that has my brain all sorts of haywire...and I'll tell ya why ;)

Wednesday October 9th, 2013. Yes, three days from now, will be the day that changes my life forever! I will be undergoing a major surgery including a Full Pancreatectomy AND a Sleeve Gastrectomy at the same time. YEP you heard that correct these two fairly extensive surgical procedures will be done simultaneously. Now I didnt even know that I could survive without a pancreas as I think I may have mentioned in my last blog post. However, I was informed that this is completely possible and while not ideal, its my best and only option at this point. Dr. Ryan Holbrook at Cancer Care Northwest performed my distal pancreatectomy a few years ago so naturally he will be doing this procedure as well. He truly is one skilled and amazing surgeon and I am lucky to have him in my corner but even more than that he is a wonderful man with the best bedside etiquette there is! I couldn't be happier with him working on me and feel blessed to have the best. As for the Sleeve part of it, Dr Mathew Rawlins at Deaconess Health Education Center (DHEC) Weight Loss Surgical Group, will be taking on that end of things. I have met with him before a few years ago discussing weight loss surgery (WLS) and it was decided it wasn't the right time for me to go through with it then. So when I walked into my first appointment with Dr Holbrook discussing the 'asshole' lesions that have grown once again on whats left of my pancreas he excused himself from the room and made a few phone calls apparently. When he returned to the room as my mom and I anxiously awaited inside holding hands, it was no more than 5 minutes that he was gone before he came in with this "plan of attack" that nearly put me to tears! In that short time he had spoken with Dr. Rawlins along with my endocrinologist and formed this life changing plan to kill two birds with one stone so to speak...and even though I had only seen Dr Rawlins the one consultation he remembered me and my situation and immediately agreed to the plan! I couldn't believe what I was hearing nor could my mama :) the opportunity of a lifetime just landed on my front steps and I was too shocked and grateful for words at that point. Especially since not only do I trust and adore Dr Holbrook but Dr Rawlins too? How lucky am I? He is one of the best at what he does and he too has the most amazing beside manner on the planet! Makes me feel like someone worth for a better life and a real person not just a test subject. I really couldn't have a better team of doctors if I wanted too!

At this point it has been a month since I was first in that office getting word that I was about to go through a monumental surgery. I have successfully completely all of my pre-op testing and office visits required before the big day. The greatest thing about WLS is they pretty much give you all the tools and lay out an entire program for you to live by before during and after this procedure. Unless you stubbornly drift away from this regimen you simply have everything you need to be successful if you want to be. And boy do I WANT TO BE...more than that I NEED TO BE and WILL BE!! I have learned that less is more already and even with my inconsistent and frankly shitty diet I have been on the past 9 months it wasn't at all difficult to drink a protein shake 2 times a day and a high protein meal nor has it been challenging to drink just the shakes and skip the meal altogether. I have been proudly doing very well on the pre-op requirements and even though I wasn't allotted the preferred amount of time to properly do everything it entailed I have managed to lose 13 pounds so far :) My goal was 15 before surgery and I am super close so wish me luck!!

When Wednesday morning shows up I know I am so very ready for this...yes, it is a fairly high risk procedure and yes, I am extremely nervous...however I have 100% faith and trust in my doctors and their surgical teams and I also have the man upstairs behind me, that comforts me as well. With God on my side I can do all things because he strengthens me. He already has given me two outstanding surgeons and the opportunity I could only dream of...there is a reason for that I believe. He knows my struggle better than anybody and I believe this is happening now for a reason as well...I wasn't ready before, not in the least bit. He knows that I now am at that point in my life where nothing else matters but this...right here...this. And ME. I matter most to me whereas before I didn't. Call it meant to be...I sure think so. There are also a few other folks up there with Him that love me and watch over me daily...momentary...that are rooting for me to succeed and they too will guide me through this unconditionally. I only ask those lucky enough to walk this earth with me presently to do the same! I could sure use all the prayer and support I can get and believe me I am so very grateful for what I have received so far!!! I am surrounded by greatness and love so big that I don't know how I could be so blessed :)

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:13

...there is a reason this is and has always been my hero's favorite bible verse. Now I know what that is ;)

God Bless you all and THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for ALL you do! I would be lost without you...