Home.Sweet.Home

Best part about today is as of 2pm or so...I will be on my favorite couch cuddling with my favorite doggie in the whole wide world!!! Blayder girl misses me mom says and I cannot wait to see her after a whole MONTH being away :( Poor baby girl is used to me being home with her everyday and I havent been there to feed her and let her out to go potty and snuggle with her...even if her breath smells like pond water. Yick! I love and miss her sooooo much. I am FREEEEEEEEEEE finally. Its going to be a bitch clearing out this hospital room of mine however...its quite packed full of things I have picked up over the past month. Good thing Mama is bringing a large garbage back to start filling up! I cannot wait to get out of here...I was so happy today when I first was told that I could go home. Music to my ears! However it wasnt so easy getting to those words...I had to go through my last vac change today. Granted they disconnected me from Earl for good thank goodness, but it wasnt painless. As the doc removed him from my left breast I was bawling pretty hard core. It hurt. Real bad. Once he got him off there they had to pack it with gauze to make sure he heals properly as the other one is doing now. They say the left side is about a week behind the right in the healing process. Either way all I could feel was PAIN and it was awful!!!!!! The worst part was they just ignored me...the entire time. I was screaming in agony and they kept going pretending everything was fine...look at your pictures on your wall those are great...omg shaina this wound looks so great from the last time I saw it you are healing so fast...I cant believe how great it looks doesnt it look great? SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE ME SOME DRUGS DAMMMMMIT!!!!!!!! is the ONLY thing that was running through my brain at that moment. I wanted to get up and run away. Then they finished and packed up and freakin left!! Just like that. Okay your good to go see you in a week in the outpatient clinic. Peace. Talk about amazing bedside manner. NOT. Woooooow!!! I proceed to cry for another hour and finally the meds started to kick in that my nurse gave me AFTER the fact. She felt bad. Well no shit. Im so done with this mess.

Whew sorry that was rough. But it needed to come out. That really frustrated me and I dont know how it all happened. So fast and so crazy. Im just glad that Im not throbbing real bad now and the pain meds by mouth even are starting to kick in today...that makes me super happy. I just want to go home. Now. And I need to be pain free. SO this is a good thing! There are so many things I have been missing out on out there in the free world and I am so jealous and need to be apart of them soon again...

*Water Aerobics

*ZUMBA

*Working out

*Racing Wednesday Nights Fever Four

*The new ICAR races

*Family dinners

*Movie nights

*Game nights

*Softball games

*Basketball games

*Hanging with friends

*Going to church

All of these things are missing from my life right now that are happening on a regular basis and I need to be apart of them again. I simply cannot wait to get home and I am so glad its happening today. Do I need to take it easy for a while? Of course. Will I? Probably not. Haha. I mean I will end up being forced to relax for a week or so but after than I plan on getting back on the bandwagon. I cant sit around doing nothing anymore...its just not good for me and I just dont want too! I love being able to say that and actually MEANING it now a days. Cuz I do! I have been losing weight and keeping it off for some time now and for a month I have been layed up in this stupid hospital not being able to continue that routine properly. So that is my goal. Get back on track!! I have alot of support behind me and I am confident that they will work with me getting me back to that point again :)

~Pizza and Movies!! Thats what Im going home too tonite...I ♥ my family. And my friends. They have all been so wonderful during this crappy time. I cant thank them enough for all that they do!! I loff you...ALL.

All these faces and this place is getting old. I'm going home...♥