Another Day.Another Hollar

I like to call this figure "Earl." Well thats its given name anyway...my brother Bret decided the last time I was attached to a wound vac like this we should name it Earl because he couldnt think of an uglier name for such an ugly machine haha. He's too sweet. Earl comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes for your convenience...travel size as well when you get to go home from this place. I have experienced travel size Earl and we did not get along so great. It was a love hate relationship nonetheless. Earl heals me. And he has great intentions. But Earl is annoying. He hurts me and doesnt have any remorse. He's also a pain my damn ass...making noises at unnecessary times and providing a constant pain in my breast with the suction of the pump. Detaching itself randomly. Just simply being in the way at ALL times. But I will say that in the end the good outways the bad in Earls case...my healing success rate with Earl is at least 50 percent higher than without him. He cleans me up inside real good so that infection that hates me so much doesnt have as much of a chance at returning so fast...if at all. I am praying Earl heals me for quite some time or completely this time...I would be forever grateful.

The reason I will have been in this hospital so long may be beause of Earl but I believe it was worth it...everyday. If he heals me like hes supposed too than I will owe him alot. 80 percent of my pain comes from him while the extra 20 goes to the healing tissue inside each of my boobies. And thats just the thing...the pain location. Men dont exactly quite understand this issue I have noticed...in friends family and doctors. Some have open minds to it and actually do some imagining of their own...putting them into pain just thinking about it Im sure!! Others are lost as to WHY I am in so much pain and WHY it is causing me to have so many issues. "Welp here's how I see it...you take this little breast pump looking vacuum sucker and you go right ahead and attach that to your penis...then come talk to me? ya?" is what I like to say to that. Blunt? of course. But thats just how I roll. And like I said before...pain is subjective. You have no idea until you are inside my body feeling it the way I do which is impossible.

Today I had another wound vac change...now during this process they have to remove the massive amount of dressing attaching the vac to my breast. Basically a bunch tape-like sticky stuff that hurts like a bitch to remove. Once they get that part off they remove the pump and start to remove the sponges that are inside the wound soaking up the infected fluid from the inside out. My wounds arent very deep per say only about an inch maybe...however they form tracks is what they call them. Which means they tunnel back around horizontally in both directions..making the actual wound itself about 6 or more inches wide underneath. Yeah...its awesome. Haha. That is only on my left breast the right one is not as extensive. It was taken off the vac on Monday and has been doing great healing on its own with a wet to dry gauze pad. Dont get me wrong that effer still hurts like a mother when the dressing is changed but not nearly as bad as the left side. Lets just say thank you lord for pain medicine and sedation. Versaid and Fentynal however to spell them as a mixture put me to sleep like a baby...thats where my girl Shalina comes into play. She is a master with the "put you to sleep" skills :) Honestly...dont fuck with her peeps. Haha! But really...I cant simply say enough times how much I appreciate her and all the docs in wound care. They are the best for sure!! And they definitely are the most sympathic seeing all that they do thats a fact!

After todays change I have made so much progress after 27 days that I finally am going to be able to remove the vac on Friday they think!! That made me so happy :) Even though it will happen in my room and I wont have my Shalina girl with me I know she is happy for me to get to go home soon!! This is the biggest step toward that I have made yet. Now just have to get this pain under control somehow and I will be home free...wish me luck!!